Black, Broke, and Fancy: Guilty Spending

Like any person on this Earth, I like to spend money. Not only do I do it frequently, but I also feel guilty for it. It’s not like I spent a massive amount of money this weekend but I do feel bad for spending it. Little things like getting my nails and feet done, getting my Buffy Body bar, or grabbing coffee leaves me reeling in a feeling of items not needed but needed. I don’t need my nails done but being a nail bitter is gross and going 6 weeks with my nails done is a good thing. Plus, my hands look good!

I don’t want to feel bad about spending extra money on things I want. I’ve wanted a pair of pants from Ilana Kohn for $300. Yes, that excessive but I also want nice things that don’t get worn out after a few wears. Even nice pants from Target are expensive ($30 price range) but poorly made. Is it a crime to want the nice expensive pants? Even if I had the funds and the savings I wanted, I would still feel guilty about spending the money I earn, on what I want.

My current want of the week are a pair of heels that are on clearance at Target. $15 could get me these cute shoes but I can’t justify spending $30 for them online because I can’t find my size in store. Especially for shoes I’ll wear only 1-2 times a month.

I shouldn’t feel guilty for buying the smallest of the smallest items like a notebook or even a $5 tee shirt. Am I supposed to stop living life just because of my debt? I shouldn’t have spent money this weekend. Most of the things I bought could have wait. I do say $5 for a 32gb hard drive is smart since they are $15 elsewhere.

I’m trying to figure out how to save even more than I already do with the apps I use. I could stop buying things. Selling old clothes and tech isn’t going to solve the $12k debt issue I have. I can do pick up to order and avoid walking around Ralphs and Target.

I do want to find a weekend job but I’m getting rejection letters left and right for the weekend gigs I know I could do.

Going forward, I’ll be proactive with knowing what I need. I have to say, I’ll rather have $2 iced coffee from 7-11 than $7 latte from the cafes near my house. So, I’m saving in taste and money.

Hope you had a good weekend and an even better week.

Love & Ice Cream, Sequoia


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